We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Wounded

by To Be Gentle

/
1.
I am unafraid of the aftermath And will not run away I heard screaming from the kitchen And walked towards the staircase With knots in my gut Broken glass lined your words like shrapnel: “Selfish pig, I hate you” I lied to myself I’ll never say again, that I love you I’d leap to my death before I’d leave myself alone with you and these thoughts I am unafraid Of the aftermath And will not run away I am unafraid and will not run away Breaking down These scary thoughts There seems to be a hand that rests on my shoulder, holding me back I am unafraid Breaking down these scary thoughts
2.
The sun came out today and you were wearing it on your face A smile worth a thousand words that don’t deserve to leave my mouth You taught me strength when I was weak You took me home when I was lost You are the blood here in my veins You are the love I have to give We are not separate Souls are infinite God loves you This is true Avoid fear for a while But it will find a way to make you smile
3.
“Jake get in the car I won’t let you take your life alone in that house I love you so much, I would rip myself apart before I’d see you do the same to yourself You are my sun and my moon, My stars and my planets You are everything dear to me”
4.
Impulses 04:26
Dog-tired in August Left two twins Bitter on the concourse Bright light and heat Bounced off your glasses Trauma spent on a life’s worth of mistakes I’d rather peel my eyes open with a can-opener of perpetuated trauma All I have is you and that is ok Because no one likes to be alone Here in this realm of sin we are just impulses They run through my head and tell me that I am just flesh and blood They run through my head and tell me that I am just bone and dream Flesh and blood, bone and dream Of a time when we were safe I can hear your voice but I can’t see you I can hear your words but I cannot embrace you here, and all my apologies mean nothing when I can’t be there Dream of a time when we were safe Make it our home, wish for that day
5.
Miasma 05:32
I held my breath in from the miasma, Leaning on a dried-out shovel Sweat slalomed down my gaunt face, Gleaming in the summer sun I looked at the cyclists passing by, The birds flying overhead, the horses grazing; I envied their luxury Stranded on an island of dirt, I grieved my labor And conceded to the incessant noise Of flies and insects swarming my body
6.
7.
Wounded 05:49
The face of the devil is bald and emaciated and I’m staring him dead in the eyes when I look into the reflection of the knife Tendons and ligaments I didn’t even know I had are visible and when it gets too hot my veins throb with an ache I wish you ached with I love you, but I will not forgive you

about

This album is dedicated to my dad. I love you.

This album was written between November 2019 and August of 2021. Mental illness and learning from it, as well as convoluted trauma, are the overarching themes on this new record.
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, for although I am a broken person I can find newness and joy in every day of my life.
I want to heal and to learn how to unravel my convoluted trauma, and while there seems to be a hand that rests on my shoulder holding me back, I am grateful for the growing it has brought me.
I am scared of looking at my inner child in the eyes and telling them, “I love you, and it wasn’t your fault”, but today I welcome them to come out of the dark and sit with me in the presence of what has hurt me, and who I have hurt.
You are deeply loved in this moment.
This is the death of transmission: I will transform my hurt to help and love others instead of causing cyclical pain.
I love you, forever and always” - Eve

credits

released March 8, 2022

Produced by Derek Frazier
Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Eve Beeker
Art by Orestes
Guest vocals on "Miasma" by Logan Rivera
All music written by To Be Gentle

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

To Be Gentle Eugene, Oregon

Love is the only way out

contact / help

Contact To Be Gentle

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

To Be Gentle recommends:

If you like To Be Gentle, you may also like: