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by Eve Beeker

subscriber exclusive
Portraits 02:19
Words of ill infatuation looped in my head Oscillating over and over in a din I'm still here, you're not alone You act like I'm dead Holding onto memories and left to pretend Now we're just afraid of fear Scared of me to walk alone Burning these self portraits and rattled to the bone Resting in a precious place Ruined heads can still be saved And you say: "Where's my son?"
For Claire 04:30


Experimental musician Eve Beeker has primarily been known for her work in To Be Gentle, and historically, focused in traditional band settings, sculpting monumental screamo and post-rock pieces layered in effects-laden guitar. "Portraits" not only exemplifies the unique and original tenants of To Be Gentle, but by contrast branches out into experimental soundscapes, field-recordings, and conversations amongst many other vibrant sonic elements to tell the narrative of Beeker's life, celebrating herself as a trans woman.
"Portraits" is a sonic exploration through trauma, joy, gender, and healing, and its title originates from the notion that trans people often find themselves "repainting a self-portrait of themselves as something they are, but which is incongruent with what others (family, parental figures, friends) perceive of them, running a wide gamut of emotion".

The song "Portraits" is the closest Beeker has come to contemporary mainstream music, and exemplifies her songwriting prowess. While other songs like "The Letter 'I'" and "You Have Left Us" feature familiar characteristics of her previous ambient work, songs "For Claire", "As Long As I Am With You When It Ends", and "The Depths..." are some of her most experimental endeavors yet, alternating between brain-massaging synths and sampling as well as lush guitar-scapes.

"Portraits" is a monumental milestone for both Beeker's compositional and personal growth, showcasing her artistic and musical talents. It is a deep-dive into a very intimate part of Beeker's life, and she is proud to share it with all of you.


released August 13, 2021

All music and artwork by Eve Beeker

Track 2 is dedicated to Nikko Purden
Track 4 is dedicated to Claire Rousay
Track 6 is dedicated to Nina Palumbo

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Eve Beeker in her apartment


all rights reserved



To Be Gentle Eugene, Oregon

Love is the only way out

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