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To Be Gentle - Every Day
02:00
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Every breath is a battle
The circumstance of being alive can be excruciatingly painful
Living with mental illness is like looking at the world through a monochromatic lens;
I often need the help of others to describe the colors of the world to me What they look like, how they should make me feel
This aberration skews my sense of reality
It leads me in dark circles
I often find myself in the shadow of a fear, a looming, threatening impulse of self-destruction: that I will be alone and afraid.
This fear consumes me and everything I call home,
But I know that i should not be afraid
Every day I will live with joy
And joy will follow me all the days of my life
I am not my inner child, scared and broken
I am gentle and strong
I am love and I will love with everything I am
I have been gifted with this burden, but I will carry it with a head held high and love overflowing from my heart
I have much to give to this world and many promises to keep,
And for that I am grateful
To those who love me and those who I love, thank you for keeping me here when it feels too painful for me to stay
I will live with joy every day of my life
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Anxiety looms over the foundation of my skull-sized home
Lingering, it haunts me like a spell of impending death
I will take your hand and follow you into the dark
With you I am safe: wrapped in the embrace of an ardent light
I have seen you and I, and with you I am happy
As long as I am with you when this ends, I will be ok
The noise that rots away in my mind will cease to grow one day
Until the soil of this earth tastes my mortal shell, I will live with joy all the days of my life
With you I am safe
Joy will follow me all the days of my life
I no longer need to be afraid
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Deconstruct and rebuild
Every part of this life
Someone always has it worse than the next
And I'm still finding the words to explain
How I'd burn off my skin
If it meant the world could change
But I'm still stuck on
How in love I am
With the way you said you can't
Wait to forget my name
I'd do anything to make you feel alive
I'd do anything to bring this world back to life
And my chest will forever sink when you say my name
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There's waste
There's hard feelings
There's soft, soft dirt
Fall into it.
Like tripping off a chair
Into a crooked neck
And a bent blue tongue
My only chance to spit out my hope
You can love someone so much
It makes you sick
Everything happens at the wrong time
Even you and I
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