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Words of ill infatuation looped in my head
Oscillating over and over in a din
I'm still here, you're not alone
You act like I'm dead
Holding onto memories and left to pretend
Now we're just afraid of fear
Scared of me to walk alone
Burning these self portraits and rattled to the bone
Resting in a precious place
Ruined heads can still be saved
And you say:
"Where's my son?"
2.
You Have Left Us
3.
As Long As I Am With You When It Ends
4.
For Claire
5.
The Depths of Our Trauma is the Well From Which We Draw Our Compassion
6.
The Letter "I"
about
Experimental musician Eve Beeker has primarily been known for her work in To Be Gentle, and historically, focused in traditional band settings, sculpting monumental screamo and post-rock pieces layered in effects-laden guitar. "Portraits" not only exemplifies the unique and original tenants of To Be Gentle, but by contrast branches out into experimental soundscapes, field-recordings, and conversations amongst many other vibrant sonic elements to tell the narrative of Beeker's life, celebrating herself as a trans woman.
"Portraits" is a sonic exploration through trauma, joy, gender, and healing, and its title originates from the notion that trans people often find themselves "repainting a self-portrait of themselves as something they are, but which is incongruent with what others (family, parental figures, friends) perceive of them, running a wide gamut of emotion".
The song "Portraits" is the closest Beeker has come to contemporary mainstream music, and exemplifies her songwriting prowess. While other songs like "The Letter 'I'" and "You Have Left Us" feature familiar characteristics of her previous ambient work, songs "For Claire", "As Long As I Am With You When It Ends", and "The Depths..." are some of her most experimental endeavors yet, alternating between brain-massaging synths and sampling as well as lush guitar-scapes.
"Portraits" is a monumental milestone for both Beeker's compositional and personal growth, showcasing her artistic and musical talents. It is a deep-dive into a very intimate part of Beeker's life, and she is proud to share it with all of you.
credits
releases August 13, 2021
All music and artwork by Eve Beeker
Track 2 is dedicated to Nikko Purden
Track 4 is dedicated to Claire Rousay
Track 6 is dedicated to Nina Palumbo
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Eve Beeker in her apartment
Every record Daitro has made is the epitome and pinnacle of DIY screamo. They are truly an inspiration, and beyond that some of the most talented, emotive, and viscerally moving artists ever. To Be Gentle
I am so grateful and humbled to have had the opportunity to open for Quiet Fear. They are such awesome and kind people, and an extremely important asset to the LA/DIY scene. Virtuosic and artistic. To Be Gentle
Toronto band Respire deliver a post-hardcore tour de force on the largest scale possible, orchestrally rich and incessantly uncompromising. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 6, 2021
Epitaph Records will be matching all pre-orders of “Always Foreign” with a donation to The Immigrant Defense Project. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 28, 2017