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1. |
Understanding Healing
02:15
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Instrumental
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2. |
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Will you come home from that dreaded place?
You answer me with a pale hand
Breathing so still, you suffocate me with apologies
That I've been dying to tell you
I'll bring you back to where it's safe and warm
How much have you missed me since you've been gone?
I need you here with me
Believe me when I say I won't let go
And I will always be here with you
All the things I was too scared to say to you
How you've made me who I am
How you've saved me from destruction
All the things I was too scared to say to you
How you've made me who I am
How you've saved me from myself
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3. |
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I am longing to be with you
And to see your face
Sit with me by the sea and we'll forget everything
Everything that should not be
Everything that should not be, we'll forget them
Your fear of your failures reminds me of my own and it scares me
This place that we've made that we call our own is home
These towers stand high, the stones in the walls are strong
We sit on a cloud in the sky away from all our troubles when I am with you
Break these chains
Feel and grow
Precious keepsake, that I call home
Stay with me in our sky away from our fears
I remember fading in and out of sleep, I reached out to touch your face
There were bright and stark differences in the senses and the colors
Light poured in through the door, illuminating qualities of your visage
Gentle, so gentle, it reminded me to be gentle for you always
We build our castles in the air
Brick by brick, fortify this stronghold
Throw your fears into the sky
Replace pain with our home
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4. |
Du Sang
06:37
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The sun came out today
And you were wearing it on your face;
A smile worth one thousand words that I find you most deserving of
You are a temptation irresistible
You are the beating in my heart
You are a place for me to rest my ruined head
This is a gift for you, I'll always cherish you
Over and over, these thoughts of you fade in and out
I see you here
And you are the place where I find rest
I've found my solace, I've found my place
I need you in my life
Like blood in my veins
I need you here, I need you here with me like blood in my veins
And I hope that these never grow old and that they stand on their own
Like blood in my veins, my tender green
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5. |
Road to Himeji
03:00
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Dichotomy of impulse, that which is abrasive to the most tender of desires
This question pools stagnantly between the crevices leaving me bereft
Desire overrides crippling passion
Discordant confines of thought and chaos bring this dread in
Stark white castle atop these beautiful piles of cobble which stand so grandly
You make me realize the significance of my humanity
This inversion of myself as a callow youth
And this is craving your own self-worth
These growing pains remind me why I'm still alive
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6. |
But a Sound
01:31
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Instrumental
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7. |
Tender Green
04:37
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My love is the bed of grass that rests beneath our soles
My love is the painted wings of a monarch gleaming in the dust
In between, we vapors shall teem, between the words that my love shall bring:
Without you, I am nothing
I'm here to help you get by on your own
You remind me to be present
My tender green, in the deep, hallowed in every respect
My tender green so far away, all I need is you
When you are gone, you are close in thought
When you are near, I am always better
Without you, I am nothing
Let us go then, you and I,
I am no longer afraid when I'm with you
Please don't take this away from me
You are my everything
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8. |
An Amputation
04:22
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9. |
That Which Is Safe
03:20
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That which is safe
Stay with me
I am sorry,
For this heartbreak that I have caused to you
And for leaving all of this behind
And I will never be able to wash this guilt from myself
I am weak (bereft of fulfillment)
Hurt goes on (this language of wrongdoing)
Speak softly (and be gentle)
I love you (I'm sorry)
You are a gift that has blessed me
With finer things
And I'm the one who threw it all away
I welcomed dread into your place
And it was worse than when I was starving to death
Cold and emaciated,
Starving to death
And I would rather starve for eternity than see
Your universe close its eyes to our joys together,
You and I
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10. |
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Cowardice in the wake of a lie that I solemnly knew
Complacent in fear
Brought to the brink of my shortcomings
Scrape away this violence
Indifferent to the suffering
I will not ignore something larger than me
Break down these old walls, rebuild and start again
Relinquish this pain, adopt a newfound growth
This can never fade until the last cage empties
There's a hand resting on my shoulder
And it wants me to be gentle and sensitive
Empathy to serve a purpose
Protect them the voiceless ones
Love them as I'd love another
I see a hope in empathy
This starts with compassion, compassion and you
Give up yourself and see them as they do
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11. |
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I would rip myself apart before I’d see you do the same to yourself
Please just know that I’ll keep you safe and warm
Away from all these pains and aches that trouble you
I am grateful for you in my life
I will never take you for granted
I feel so deeply for you
I hurt for these wrongdoings that have been plaguing you
These curses that have been looming over your shoulder
Will soon come to a close
Back and forth these thoughts fade in and out
Over and over again
One day these words spoken from
A heartfelt dialect will become clear
One day we will no longer hurt
One day we will not hurt
And our curses will no longer be here to haunt us
This is the sound of a love ascending
Through my being, my spirit, my everything
Oh, remember our dreams, and how much this means to me
Oh, remember our dreams, and how much you mean to me
This is the sound of a love unprecedented
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12. |
To Be Gentle
02:48
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There is no apology that needs to be made, no forgiveness that needs to be earned:
I am strong enough to admit and allow this for myself
There are times spent in the shadow of my doubts and disapproval where I find discouragement rather than a lesson in self-acceptance
It's a beautiful world out there, and I have spent far too long living in this dark place
It often takes the help from others to see the colors of the world, to help paint the shades and differences in the landscapes
And despite that illness, I am grateful
And this is changing from craving your own ending to having the strength to grow
To have the gall to see this through is much more of an undertaking
These insurmountable, painful thoughts breech the confines of comfortability and compromise my forgiveness
But I know that they do not define me or discount me as a person
These dissonances and troubles are only temporary, and although they will leave me with long-lasting impressions and even damages, that is what I need to grow stronger
And to realize that this is something that is survivable, and more importantly worth surviving
I was once told that all I can do is take everything one step at a time, one day at a time
But at its basest elements, I am only human and can only accommodate for so much
And I'm trying to be gentle every day, to understand what it means to love myself and what it means to be a good person
To be gentle to myself and to others has been a season of reconnecting and growing
But I know that it has been worth it
Pain is the gift that we too often try to ignore and run away from
It is the unpleasant and brutal blessing that tells us what we need to know and what we need to do
And I need to learn how to love myself and how to stand on my own
And I can't help but think of the people that I love and I know that love me in these trial times
Because they are what keep me here when I don't feel I am enough to stay
Because of these people, I no longer feel bereft
I am grateful that I can love others and that I am learning how to love myself
I admit that I am alive, add that I too, matter, and have meaning
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